Life's questions
If most accidents happen in our homes, why don’t we move?
If swimming is a good way of losing weight, then what do whales do wrong?
Does a duck with only one leg swim in circles?
If the so-called Black Box in airplanes is indestructible, why don't they make airplanes of that material?
If a word is wrongly spelled in the dictionary, how do we ever find out?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, then do Asians throw hotdogs?
Why don't sheep shrink when they dry up after a shower of rain?
Why didn't Noah kill those two mosquitoes when they were in the Ark?
Do married people really live longer or do they only have that feeling?
Anon
English words and their meanings
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter
- A cook who leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.
Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl
- What a bullfighter tries to do
Bernadette burn-a-det
"The act of torching a mortgage
Burglarize Bur'-gler-ize
- What a crook sees with"
Control kon - trol
- A short, ugly inmate
Counterfeiters kown - ter - fit - ers.
- Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
Eclipse i - klips
- What an English barber does for a living
Eyedropper i - drop - ur
- A clumsy ophthalmologist
Heroes hee' - rhos
- What a guy does in a boat
Left Bank left bangk
- What the robber did when his bag was full of loot
Pharmacist farm' - uh - sist
- A helper on a farm
Anon
Lifes questions and English words were contributed by Alan Gray
Only in Britain
....can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
....do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
....do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
....do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawnmower in the garage.
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